Sunday's Roast Potatoes

It's late. And I'm exhausted. So therefore probably not a good time to begin writing...which isn't going to stop me.

This blog's called Pastors' Daughters. So here's a thought about being preacher's kid.

Something at the moment that is a struggle not to find annoying is Sunday Lunch. Cos dad's a pastor at our church, and cos my parents enjoy having people round, we have people for lunch every single Sunday. It's odd if we don't. It's fun when we do. But I rarely know them..plus Sunday is that one day of the week where the rest of my friends seem to just relax, chill, some go to church, many catch up on homework etc but still, relaxation. I suppose a couple of hours in the afternoon are relaxing for me, but that's only if our guests are gone. I LOVE having people over and having interesting, funny, random convos but...when you're tired, slightly fed up for no reason, just wanna come home from church and sleep..sometimes the last thing you want is to have to be happy and make small talk with someone you've never talked to before but just happens to be sitting in at your dinner table. 

Jesus ate with his friends, tax collectors, "sinners" etc. all the time. To me, this suggests that meal times are important for fellowship as well as just a decent reason to eat yummy food with cool people. My attitude needs to change to become more like Jesus'. 

I Love You

I'd almost completely forgotten about this blog. Alice + I started it up a few months back, in 2012 but it went a bit quiet over winter. It's hard to just jump back into something without some momentum behind you...so this post is just gunna be some thoughts which were inspired by the sermon I heard this morning, by Dave Gobbett. 

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us 
-Romans 5:8

Some people like touchy-feely love...some like gifts -chocolates, flowers..some feel loved when others spend time with them -go on dates etc...some need love to be demonstrated in actions or words...personally I think my 'love language' is mainly centred around time and words. (I love words. I'm a linguist, after all). Anyway..no idea how your family/friends/boy- or girl-friends/others make you feel loved, but even if you haven't thought about it, you'll have things that affect you more than others. 

This verse says that God's "I Love You" is by sending his one and only son to DIE for people (us) who were STILL SINNERS. i.e. people who were rejecting him, couldn't care less, wanted to kill him. In the sermon this morning, this observation particularly struck me...
If you're gunna give your Son - only son - to be killed for someone else, then that other person has gotta be WORTH saving, right? If they weren't, you wouldn't save them. If they're not worth it, you wouldn't sacrifice a Holy, Perfect Son of Man for them. 

---> GOD THINKS YOU'RE TO DIE FOR!

Everyday is His Wedding Day

~"If you are a Christian you have little idea just how much joy you bring Jesus. But he wants you to know that you do. And he tells us so to draw us to him for his delight and our delight, the mutual delight of Christ and the church, of Christ and the believer. That’s what we were saved for and what we will enjoy for all eternity. His heart is glad in us.

 And every day whilst we live is his wedding day." 
 /Julian Hardyman  
-Do you realise HOW much God delights in you?
-Do you live like someone who brings JOY to an Almighty God?

Not Ashamed!

FIONA AGAIN:

I've just got back from my youth group (GAP/IMPACT) weekend-away in Norfolk at a little place called Wells-Next-The-Sea. It was so much fun to take over a youth hostel, go to the beach (twice), go bowling (admittedly, I didn't play because I was doing hwork but it was fun to watch the others a bit!), play a wide game in the forest when I dressed up as a tree and hang out with teenagers, babies and adults at the same time :) 

The theme for the bible studies and quiet/personal times was 

CONFIDENCE in our identity in Christ. 

It's funny, (in the odd way, not the haha way) that so many people around me at college appear confident. They're funny, sporty, smart, popular. They breathe confidence. They sing it in their sleep. And yet...I wonder if they can really, honestly answer the question, "what is your hope in?" or "what is your identity built on and is that solid?". 

Thinking about living without Christ is a terrifying thought for me. I'm a confident person, and yet a future without Jesus or heaven is a bleak, bleak thought. HOW MUCH BETTER is the promise from the bible in Romans 10:9 which says,

"That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."

Let that challenge you this week (if you're a Christian and you are actually reading this) to be totally unashamed to call yourself a Christian and tell someone in some way about Jesus Christ's love for them...we'll try together and God will help.

Image source: http://hbiblecommentary.wordpress.com/

Let Your Kingdom Come

Pray with us...

-for unsaved friends who don't know Christ

-for people we know who are struggling with things we know about

-for people we don't know who struggle with things we don't know about

-for the world which longs for Christ to return

-for the peace of our nations and others

-for protection, patience and guidance

-for anything that is on your mind right now

"If my people, who are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways; then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin, and I will heal their land"

-2 Chronicles 4:17 

Image source: http://genuinelyloved.tumblr.com/post/24188938159/love-you-lord-3-follow-genuinelyloved-tumblr

Scraps of Accidental Evangelism

FIONA HERE:

I was going to say this would be a short post, but knowing me, it will be as long as Alice's..;) Anyways, I have just finished an interesting/monotonous chapter of my life which is Extended Project Qualification (EP), and after printing the 51 pages of the project, I turned one of pages over to find "GOD MADE THE WORLD :D". 

This is a common issue. You print off your coursework, homework etc. and turn over the page (or your teacher points it out) to find that you have used the scrap paper by accident, not the plain paper (is mine the only house who NEVER has ANY PLAIN PAPER?). I know the whole scrap paper thing isn't limited to PKs. Friends whose fathers work for programming companies etc. have all sorts of  <,&6^%?@#~ on the back of their homework, but there's something slightly more amusing about sermon notes, book manuscripts (unpublished work!) or cartoon Adam and Eves on the back of a German essay. 

I like to think that occasionally, maybe one time in 100, my teachers will read whatever is on the back and think about God. 

A bit like a scrap of Accidental Evangelism.

Image source: http://www.simplediscipleship-wordpress.com/2011/03/06/napkin-evangelsim/

A Slightly Different Life

ALICE HERE:
Okay, so this is my first post, and I will (hopefully) make it short! But who knows, I have a tendency to waffle on a bit! I have given this the title, "A slightly different life" because that's a fact that I have had to get used to after being a PK these many years gone by. You have to come to terms with the fact that we grow up differently, we do things differently. Note: differently does not explicitly mean worse, but it does (and you will probably kill me now) sometimes mean better!

Negatives (of course this is all subjective, some of us may enjoy the torments that I list below)

• Embarrassing Fathers are revealed to the whole universe ie. the whole church congregation (and mine cycled in to church down the aisle and then preached in his lycra!)
• The lack of Sunday as a rest day! It's pretty hard to rest as a PK on a Sunday, with guests over, probably rushing homework for the next day and attending every single christian activity humanly possible.
• It is really difficult to maintain a solid spiritual life. Nobody's walk with God is perfect but for us, it often feels like lots is expected of you, like you are never expected to go wobbly. This sucks, completely! Because, when you do go down the drain you "must" ask your pastor for help....wooooo!!!!! visit dad and tell him your life story (NO WAY IS THIS HAPPENING!) Also, it is hard to be convicted from your own Father's sermons especially.

HOW TO COPE: not that I am a genius, and I welcome all suggestions as to how to cope, I have a few tips. 
1) make sure your faith is between you and God, not you, your parents, and God. What I mean by this is that it is your faith, do your own quiet time, grow individually by God's grace, after all he saves us not because of our parents. 
2) Get a christian friend your age! Ideally a PK. Myself (Alice) and Fiona can be rented if you just drop by an email. Talk about life and share your own spiritual pains and joys. 
3) find an older Christian you trust. I have a pastoral worker who I couldn't live without (for example) and meet up regularly and be honest. (and Fiona has Ali + various Old Women)

Positives (because we all need some encouragement!)
God IS good and He is God. He placed us where we are now for a reason and many of us have come to faith through our parents and church, and so He has been good to us in this way. Parents are after all, just people trying to learn how to parent on the go. Talk to them! and embarrass them back!

God bless, Alice :Dx

In Christ alone and Christ in us

To be a Christian is not only to believe the teaching of Christ, and to practice it; it is not only to try to follow the pattern and example of Christ; it is to be so vitally related to Christ that His life and His power are working in us. It is to be "in Christ," it is for Christ to be in us.

 

~ Martyn Lloyd Jones

 

 



Getting Practical

So far this has mostly been an extended description of a day of the week. Now, if I had just read 1000 words about your Monday morning I'd probably be thinking, "well that is faintly amusing but it has no relevance to my life". But what we want to do with this is to draw out some key lessons that relate to all or most of us. We don't mean to preach, and definitely not leave you with the impression that we have conquered these things. But we find these things challenging and want you to as well.

Let Me Wash Your Feet!
Something anyone in a family will have to learn at some point in their life is self-sacrifice. A PK is no exception. Whether they like it or not, it appears that their father is the leader of a church. If they despise it or delight in it is their choice but self-sacrifice will be evident anyway. Some examples of this have been mentioned already (giving up your lie-in, getting up even EARLIER for band practice, having strangers for lunch...). But there are a few more subtle ones too.
1) You Will Be Judged.
This actually might not seem a worthwhile comment because in our society, we make judgements of people within 30 seconds of meeting them. But for our PK this is on a different level. They are judged by anyone who has the faintest idea who their dad is. That is not normal. People cannot help making judgements so they are not to blame, but the results can be crippling. You might stop going to church because you can't help being introduced as X's son/daughter. (For future reference, this really really bugs me) You might pretend to be someone else and upset your parents when you don't want to sit with them in the Front Row Seats. Or you might just swallow the words "I AM ME. NOT JUST HIS KID".

One way of dealing with this is to look to the Bible. We can't help what other people think of us, but we CAN help how we view ourselves. A Christian author has said this "I believe he (Jesus) was telling us the truth when he said that he loves us and wants the best for our life. I believe that God created us. This also means that he decided before we were born, the moment we were born, and every second right now...that we have value." (Chad Eastham) He speaks from the bible when he says that, for Psalm 139 acknowledges that, "You (God) created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made" (verses 13-14a).
So we need to accept our status as Children of God, not of the Pastor, or even just not of our parents if you are not a PK. If you are not a Christian yet, consider how your life would be different living as part of God's family, with him as the head.

2) You Will Not Go Away At Weekends
This title looks like a command- "Never Leave the House!" It's not meant to be seen that way. This is no rule, no written law, purely a practicality. Your friends don't take holidays during term time (or at least they shouldn't!) because they have school and their parents have work. So it is not that different to say that a PK doesn't have weekend breaks with their family because their dad is working. To be honest, I never noticed this until my parents pointed it out that we spend about 49 in 52 Sundays at home every year whilst other families actually leave the province once in a while. I also noticed when I started wanting to visit friends in London or other places (who don't live here) and really missed our morning services at my home church!

To some people this is a big deal. To me it's just something to deal with. And it doesn't really bother me, but I'm sorry if it bothers you.
The bible says, "Brothers and Sisters, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil, be infants, but in your thinking be adults." (1 Corinthians 12 v23). I admit now that I was actually looking for another verse but I noticed that I had highlighted this one in my bible. It sounds really rude at first, assuming that we think as kids do. But if I apply this to myself - do this with me, for yourself - I begin to see how true that is. Every time I complain about my weekend being church-dominated, I am thinking like a child. Every time I wish I could be out with my friends rather than listening to God's word, I am thinking like a child. But God calls us to "be adults". This doesn't mean talking about why nuclear power is better than wind power, but being mature in our actions, attitudes and ultimately in the way we relate to God.

3) You Will Be Expected
I quickly need to point out that this doesn't refer to someone sitting at a desk expecting you for appointments. It is the way that those who know your not-so-secret will have certain expectations of you. Sometimes these are legitimate and sometimes these are unfair, but whatever the case a PK has to make a self-sacrifice in accepting that. This also seems really similar to the "You Will Be Judged", but I've made the distinction because this seems more practical (and I thought three points looked better than two...) Here are a few examples:
- in a bible study there is an awkward silence and Lazy But Confident Teen pipes up with "ask X, s/he is the PASTOR's kid!". If this happens to me, I resolve not to answer any more questions. It usually lasts about 5 minutes and 15 awkward silences later, but still. People expect you to know and to answer. It can be flattering but it can be very annoying.
- "I know someone who is really struggling with this problem...you won't know what it's like because you're X's child, but I thought you could give me some advice?" Ok this has never been said to me, but it could do. I also happen to LOVE listening to people and attempting to advise them...but not all of us do.
- you do something a little rebelious and everyone is shocked. This could happen anyway but it is more obvious if your family is in the limelight. People expect you to act in a certain way and to always behave. Someone actually introduced me the other day as "the Pastor's daughter, so she never does anything wrong". Perhaps this is why I enjoy dying my hair...

1 Samuel 16 v7b says "Humans look at the outward appearance but the LORD looks at the heart". 
-->You will sacrifice a bit of street-cred but your heart is more important that that.

(Photo: googleimage search for "To live is Christ, To die is Gain" (c) )

You Know You're A Pastor's Kid...

ALICE AND FI HERE:
-when your bedroom wall is filled with Bible verses not boyband posters
-your iPod is filled with Lou Fellingham, Matt Redman and Delirious? Instead of Rhianna, Justin Bieber and Will-i-am
-you get given sweets for being used as a sermon illustration
-you have had more than one (probably weekly) embarrassing moment involving your dad, a pulpit and dancing
-you live in fear of your dad's microphone being left on during the first hymn
-you find looking through the member's directory and ticking off people you recognise interesting
-you enjoy reading the Church Anual Report and marking who has been to lunch and how people in the photos are related to you
-you never have Sunday lunch without visitors
-your visitors book is filled with 'International-' or 'Student Lunches' instead of visiting friends
-you think it is normal for the visiting speaker at Church to come to lunch with you
-you are introduced as ----'s daughter (and resent it)
-you introduce yourself at Christian events as ---'s daughter (and find it funny)
-you know more Christian leaders than teachers at your school and they have probably had lunch at your house
-you smile at people your dad told you about and they have no idea who you are
-you know way too many 'pastoral issues' and learn to keep secrets
-you know who is going out with who, which couple is engaged, married or expecting before their parents know
-you match make the single members of the church in your spare time
-you play the piano, flute or sing in the music group
-you have dreams about your dad preaching at a school assembly
-your heart sinks when someone asks what your parents do and you have to explain what a reformed, protestant,evangelical pastor is.
-When you know that the phone ringing means its probably for dad
-You answer the phone like a secretary, under strict instructions to sound normal in case someone has died and wants a funeral
-When you have theological debates at the dinner table
-When you know 'prayer speak' better than most members of your church
-When most of your best friends are older or younger than you by quite a while
-When your childhood was spent making teas for bible studies and visitors
-When you have heard your father tell the same stories again and again to visitors and you just want to cringe inside....
-you read a beauty magazine thinking "this could be a sermon illustration"
-you do anything and think "this could be a sermon illustration"
-you have a blog called "pastorsdaughters.blogspot.com"

(Photo: http://www.cduniverse.com/productinfo.asp?pid=8535479 (c) )