Sunday Is My Funday

FIONA HERE:

“Hey what are you up to on Sunday morning? Wanna come shopping with us and go to the cinema afterwards? Oh wait, you have church. Can’t you skip it this week, I mean you go like ALL the time, God won’t mind just this once…Tell your Dad you slept in and sat at the back, he won’t notice!”

I don’t know if you’ve ever had this conversation, from either perspective. Maybe you have a friend who’s a Christian and you can’t understand why on earth they would sit in a dark room with sandal-wearing old people and listen to something that some old geezer wrote over 2,000 years ago. Maybe you’re the Christian and you find it really unfair that your parents make you go to this happy-clappy “God-fest”. Maybe you love going to church but find it hard to fit in friends and Jesus at the same time. Or none of the above. Whatever the case, SUNDAY is “fun day” as we have called it, in the manse (Pastor’s house). Let me give you an idea of the trials, challenges and joys we face each week.

Whilst most teenagers long for Sunday mornings when they won’t be rudely awoken by an alarm for work or school, a typical PK will probably dread the 9am wake-up call of “WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE!” Scrap the dreams of a cooked breakfast, it’s more like shove some Weetabix down your gob, grab some clean-ish clothes and jump in the car/on the bike for worship-time!

After praying madly that the first hymn hasn’t started already and then realising that it has, PK must do the Walk Of Shame all the way up that increasingly long aisle to the front row. Why oh why must they sit on the front row? Isn’t it bad enough to have to watch half your genes stand up and welcome everyone with a slightly awkward smile? –As a slight aside, this year I have actually taken to sitting with my friends upstairs instead. It’s more discreet and more fun.

PK must then endure an average of one and a half hours watching their father talk, pray, read the Bible, preach, and - if you are so lucky - lead worship. Thankfully the closest my (Fiona) dad gets to leading worship is when his microphone gets left of accidentally and suddenly there is a booming and slightly flat “TELL OUT MY SOUL!” from the speakers. Thank goodness this doesn’t happen often. Another duty of a PK is to play in the band or sing in the choir. If you’re a daughter, it’s probably singing, piano or flute. If you’re a son, it’s most likely to be guitar.

It’s worth pointing out here and now that these things are not all bad. Certainly, going to church is not negative, in fact it is one of the highlights of my week (think me weird, but this is true). People often ask me what it’s like to see your dad at the front every week – is it weird, embarrassing, awkward? awful, heart-breaking, disturbing? Some do find it that way and I sympathise. But to be completely honest, I usually think, “well what’s it like to watch your dad answer the telephone? Is that tragic? No, it’s normal!”

But the show goes on…it may not be practice everywhere, but in our church, whoever has just preached and probably Dad as well go to the front door at the end of the service to shake every-one's slightly sweaty hands on the way out. At this point, PK must jump into action. Hoping that they are not mistaken for a First Year Student (this has happened to me!), it is their job to ask Dad, and if necessary Visiting Preacher as well, if they want tea or coffee. Then, trying not to spill it on any Old Deaf Ladies on the way, PK will quench dad’s thirst and disappear into the crowds.

Any PK (and probably any kid with evangelical parents) will dread the attempt to leave church. One encouragement to those who are ALWAYS the Last Family To Leave is that once you are old enough, it is possible to leave by yourself. There is hope! Anyway, this is a difficult process that takes much perfection. First one must locate Mother Thinking About Roast Dinner. This can take some time, especially if she is on the prowl for Hungry Student(s) to invite for lunch. Once found, PK makes the first request of many to leave the building and get on with life. Mother Thinking About Roast Dinner points out that none of the rest of her offspring are anywhere to be seen and if you are to leave before next week, it is our PK’s responsibility to round them up. A few hours later, they are all bundled into the car.

It is tradition for an English family to have a Sunday Roast on the Lord’s Day. It is also tradition for the Pastor’s family to have someone over. I have to tell this from my own experience, which will be completely different from others’, so don’t take it as gospel (awful pun). As a slightly shy child who always thought she was older than she actually was, I loved Sunday Lunch; a chance to eat good food and listen to adult conversation, which I rarely understood. We’ve had the whole spectrum for lunch: small children, computer geeks, world famous preachers…you name it, they’ve eaten here. Now I’m a little older and can hold a conversation without turning red with embarrassment, I have slightly more mixed feelings about this arrangement. I love having people over and it’s about the only time in the week we entertain properly. My only issue is that every week we have different people. On the plus side, we get to meet all sorts lovely people, but this also means that we rarely have people we already know over. Maybe this makes me work harder after church to develop those relationships with my actual friends/youth leaders etc. and it definitely provides interesting lunchtime stories.

Rant over.

Sunday afternoons in our household are invariably spent doing just about nothing but hoping that the guests will leave before Sunday night TV starts…if they leave in good time we might take a walk by the river (and pretend that the mad dog barking at all the rowing boats does NOT belong to us) or play a competitive game of Scrabble.

Once a term or so we have a bunch of about 20-30 University students over which is pretty fun, especially now I’m almost the same age, so it’s a bit easier to find something to talk about. Students are usually pretty excited to be in a “normal” home and actually hit a sofa with their backside for once so will probably not leave until it’s time to go to the evening service. The evening will probably consist of more television. We used to watch Smallville (drama/soap about Superman) on Sunday evenings but it doesn’t seem to be on at the right time anymore, so my sister has taken over with Countryfile. Slightly more edifying…I’ve actually taken to going to the evening service (if I’m playing) as well.

So there we have it. You may not see this is as a “Fun Day” but then you may not have ever had the pleasure of living through this set of events every week!

(Photo: Eden Baptist Church Cambridge(r) Logo (c) http://www.eden-cambridge.org/)

http://www.eltbaptistchurch.org/